what shd i do?
do we live our lives? or do we live the lives our parents want us to? our parents gave us our lives. many of us.. we become doctors, lawyers, etc... because dats wat our parents want us to be. my parents wanted me to join the banking sector. u can say i defied them. i joined akltg instead. n i never regretted. how would life be if i had listened to them? yet parents only want the best for their children. they have walked that road before, so they know wat the pitfalls may be. do i want to disappoint them? do i want to hurt them with my decisions? i know i dont want to. i know i can never bring myself to do dat. even if it means hurting myself instead. well, i may not b necessarily hurting myself right? who knows maybe if i put in more effort, i would feel the way i wanna feel. then the sun will come out again. i noe my mentor will wanna whack me if he reads dis.
even now, i wanna b so successful cos of my parents too. of cos i wanna do it for myself too, but my parents r my driving force. i want them to b able to hold their heads high infront of their frens n relatives. esp those who cant stop bragging about their children. darn irritating. i've caused my parents so much hurt and pain.. how can i bear to let them endure even more?
im giving excuses. im listening to the logical side of me. i dun have the courage not to do so. just when i thought i had a perfect reason to listen to my feelings. that reason jus crumbled. well, i did know that the reason was jus one i imagined. yet i was hoping. i was longing. i was wishing. that it could be a real reason. it was my excuse to escape. but reality prevails. the reason never was there. n will never be. that's why i believed its not feelings nor logic dat we shd follow. its reality. n now with the imagined reason gone..i actually feel lighter.. i feel i can face the world with more honesty. n i realise... maybe it wasnt a reason at all. it was jus an excuse i created.
so wat shd i do now? think thru wat i truly want for myself? wat do i really want? i noe im not as confused as before. with my reason for part of my confusion gone... i need to find the answer to the rest of the conflict. i noe i will find it.
if you shd read this...
i wanna thank you from the bottom of my heart. it feels so much better to have opened my heart to you. now i can be really 100% honest with u. i know that u knew why i was afraid of sharing. which was why u broke that barrier down for me... allowing me a way out without losing my pride. there were many unspoken messages... n its amazing we could still pick them out. guess onli really close frens have the ability to do so. sorry for the worry n anger i caused u. i noe u care, as a really good fren. so i will give wateva u said much thought. its hard. but i'll do my best. thanks. n esp thanks for sacrificing ur beauty sleep.
------------------------------------------------------------
DEAR FRIENDS AND COUNTRYMEN, LEND ME YOUR EARS! DESPERATE BID TO GET JOKES FROM YOU. KINDLY SAVE MY LIFE BY CONTRIBUTING ANY STORIES OR STUFF U FIND FUNNY (YET CLEAN... hee). APPRECIATE LOTS!
do we live our lives? or do we live the lives our parents want us to? our parents gave us our lives. many of us.. we become doctors, lawyers, etc... because dats wat our parents want us to be. my parents wanted me to join the banking sector. u can say i defied them. i joined akltg instead. n i never regretted. how would life be if i had listened to them? yet parents only want the best for their children. they have walked that road before, so they know wat the pitfalls may be. do i want to disappoint them? do i want to hurt them with my decisions? i know i dont want to. i know i can never bring myself to do dat. even if it means hurting myself instead. well, i may not b necessarily hurting myself right? who knows maybe if i put in more effort, i would feel the way i wanna feel. then the sun will come out again. i noe my mentor will wanna whack me if he reads dis.
even now, i wanna b so successful cos of my parents too. of cos i wanna do it for myself too, but my parents r my driving force. i want them to b able to hold their heads high infront of their frens n relatives. esp those who cant stop bragging about their children. darn irritating. i've caused my parents so much hurt and pain.. how can i bear to let them endure even more?
im giving excuses. im listening to the logical side of me. i dun have the courage not to do so. just when i thought i had a perfect reason to listen to my feelings. that reason jus crumbled. well, i did know that the reason was jus one i imagined. yet i was hoping. i was longing. i was wishing. that it could be a real reason. it was my excuse to escape. but reality prevails. the reason never was there. n will never be. that's why i believed its not feelings nor logic dat we shd follow. its reality. n now with the imagined reason gone..i actually feel lighter.. i feel i can face the world with more honesty. n i realise... maybe it wasnt a reason at all. it was jus an excuse i created.
so wat shd i do now? think thru wat i truly want for myself? wat do i really want? i noe im not as confused as before. with my reason for part of my confusion gone... i need to find the answer to the rest of the conflict. i noe i will find it.
if you shd read this...
i wanna thank you from the bottom of my heart. it feels so much better to have opened my heart to you. now i can be really 100% honest with u. i know that u knew why i was afraid of sharing. which was why u broke that barrier down for me... allowing me a way out without losing my pride. there were many unspoken messages... n its amazing we could still pick them out. guess onli really close frens have the ability to do so. sorry for the worry n anger i caused u. i noe u care, as a really good fren. so i will give wateva u said much thought. its hard. but i'll do my best. thanks. n esp thanks for sacrificing ur beauty sleep.
------------------------------------------------------------
DEAR FRIENDS AND COUNTRYMEN, LEND ME YOUR EARS! DESPERATE BID TO GET JOKES FROM YOU. KINDLY SAVE MY LIFE BY CONTRIBUTING ANY STORIES OR STUFF U FIND FUNNY (YET CLEAN... hee). APPRECIATE LOTS!
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