*koff* ... *rant* ... *sniff*

i want to smile
but i want to cry
i want to scream
yet i want to laugh
i want to cough
but i cant cough my lungs out

im happy
but im sad
im frustrated
yet im feeling sweet
i wanna cough my lungs out
but i cant find my lungs

bleah.

sweet happenings:
jus when i thot i'd be forgotten as time passes, sth sweet happened... n melted my heart.
sth endearing, memorable, unexpected.
i went for margaret's toastmaster project nite on tuesday to visit, and to see if i should join it.. afterall, its at bishan, which is super far from my home. hmm. lil bro, who intended to go for sk2's closing changed his mind and accompanied me instead! jus so dat we could meet! super sweet. i was so shocked...! and super super touched. just so comforting to know that someone is there for you, to comfort you, and to even want to see you...
anyways, interesting session... i feel that i should join, jus dat i feel so busy. wonder if i even have time for this. sighz. goodness knows wat im busy with... !@#$%

then yesterday, i was so stressed over work and hons proj... n he called jus to relieve my stress. gosh. dis kinda fren, where to find? super duper nice... and all the time, i felt like i was being fed honey and brought to candyland... ha. lalala~ i felt so much better after that. thanx nic!

bitter musings:
darn latex... some typesetting software for my hons proj. its supposed to make my mathematical formulae look prettier. BUT... to even use it.. its killing me lor. so many commands n other crap. i gotta read the manual n do at the same time. n jus when i figured out how to do, and before i could even shout "ole", the thing screwed up on me. i couldnt save it, and i was denied access. crap. and the whole layout seems so weird. argh. why cant you be nicer to me? why cant you be my friend? i spent my whole day doing my best to build rapport with you, to understand you better, why must you shun away from me? why must you do this to me?!? argh... i want to scream my lungs out!

n this stupid cough.. 2 weeks already, still not ok. i see 3 docs, eaten trachisan, dorithicin, dhasedyl, benedly, mucosolvent, glycosyn, fedac... (pardon the spelling)... and i dun seem to be getting well anytime soon! cough nonstop, yet got nothing to cough out. so xin ku!

and my mum is threatening to forbid me to go for sk3 if my cough persists. howhowhow? i cannot dun go sk3... but dis irritating cough... argh! jus hope that this new medicine works wonders now... tho im feelin the side effects already... some loss of coordination thing. argh. i cant even see the screen properly now... (ok, abit exaggerated)...

and i still haven finish sourcing for questions for the phy curriculum. typing it out is killing me too.. cos need to draw the diagrams on ms word. gosh. kill me please.

and... i jus weighed myself today! i put on weight! HHHHHEELLLLPPPP!!!!!!!! this is not good! i shall go cut fats! n i thot sk camp can make me lose weight... argh... coughing my guts out doesnt seem to help either... oh no!!! soon, i'll transform into a fat blob of oil, and bounce down the streets... wait... i am already a glob of oil... globble globble... eekz!!!

argh i feel so stressed! so many things to do. so little time to do. n nothing is helping me.

--- sobz ---