its over!
somehow i feel like im almost devoid of feelings. i cant seem to feel relieved or happy. or maybe dats cos i dun feel relieved nor happy? hmm.. i really dunno. im kinda torn between the 2 emotional states now.
yes im relieved n super happy i managed to present in the way i wanted it to be. n i didnt forget a single line. timing was purr-fect too. realised that the moment i started, the whole 8.5pages of script jus flew out... nervous no more... panic no longer... jus pure enjoyment actually. the feeling of knowing dat ur mind is not blank n u can recall everything u memorised.. wa its jus shiok! nice feelin of being at centre of attention too... watching my audiences' expressions n all... aiyz im jus happy i remembered all dat i memorised. hohoho!
however... i dunno wat to say abt the interview. it wasnt that bad... yet it wasnt that great. spent 40 mins in there.. answer 5 qns.. all proofs.. n majority on the sections that i can no longer remember.. gosh. n i suck at proofs. well they hav been proven in my thesis, but stupid me forgot to refer... aiyz. so i jus stood there crapping some stuff out. dun tink i fared very well... i didnt even really understand what they wanted me to answer.. sigh. tho my examiner was really nice... smiling throughout.. my prof helped me abit too...
BUT...
when asked if i was able to prove a certain theorem... its supposed to be a very cheem proof that not any tom dick or harry is able to prove it... i mentioned dat i wasnt able to but i could give some explanation... n they interpreted it as that i could prove it. n i'll neva forget wat my prof said...
"... do you know that this is a very remarkable proof? its a very complex (wateva word he used) proof. in fact, john conway (a great mathematician) was the first to prove it.. and HE IS NOT STUPID. gavxxx(wateva his name is - another great mathematician) was next to prove it, and HE IS ALSO NOT STUPID. n u say you can give a proof of this theorem..."
i felt so insulted i almost cried.
n after the whole thing, tink he saw my agonised face... he asked "are you ok?"
wat d'u expect me to say? "im happy being stupid"? argh...
he said i gave a good presentation... but thats not even enough to make up for the insults earlier. maybe im sensitive.. but he didnt have to re-enforce the word 'stupid'. i no stupid ok... argh.
im still upset.
somehow i feel like im almost devoid of feelings. i cant seem to feel relieved or happy. or maybe dats cos i dun feel relieved nor happy? hmm.. i really dunno. im kinda torn between the 2 emotional states now.
yes im relieved n super happy i managed to present in the way i wanted it to be. n i didnt forget a single line. timing was purr-fect too. realised that the moment i started, the whole 8.5pages of script jus flew out... nervous no more... panic no longer... jus pure enjoyment actually. the feeling of knowing dat ur mind is not blank n u can recall everything u memorised.. wa its jus shiok! nice feelin of being at centre of attention too... watching my audiences' expressions n all... aiyz im jus happy i remembered all dat i memorised. hohoho!
however... i dunno wat to say abt the interview. it wasnt that bad... yet it wasnt that great. spent 40 mins in there.. answer 5 qns.. all proofs.. n majority on the sections that i can no longer remember.. gosh. n i suck at proofs. well they hav been proven in my thesis, but stupid me forgot to refer... aiyz. so i jus stood there crapping some stuff out. dun tink i fared very well... i didnt even really understand what they wanted me to answer.. sigh. tho my examiner was really nice... smiling throughout.. my prof helped me abit too...
BUT...
when asked if i was able to prove a certain theorem... its supposed to be a very cheem proof that not any tom dick or harry is able to prove it... i mentioned dat i wasnt able to but i could give some explanation... n they interpreted it as that i could prove it. n i'll neva forget wat my prof said...
"... do you know that this is a very remarkable proof? its a very complex (wateva word he used) proof. in fact, john conway (a great mathematician) was the first to prove it.. and HE IS NOT STUPID. gavxxx(wateva his name is - another great mathematician) was next to prove it, and HE IS ALSO NOT STUPID. n u say you can give a proof of this theorem..."
i felt so insulted i almost cried.
n after the whole thing, tink he saw my agonised face... he asked "are you ok?"
wat d'u expect me to say? "im happy being stupid"? argh...
he said i gave a good presentation... but thats not even enough to make up for the insults earlier. maybe im sensitive.. but he didnt have to re-enforce the word 'stupid'. i no stupid ok... argh.
im still upset.
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