--desilaromed--
after a 3-month hiatus, im back here again. i thot i had lots to write. lots to grumble. lots to crap. but when i see dis screen infront of me, i suddenly didnt hav anything to say. lotsa feelings churning inside me. wanting to come out. urging to spew out. but nothing's coming up. its dat kind of very down feeling.
down
down
down
down it goes.
sinking feeling.
disappointedness.
i jus feel like screaming. i want to fly to the north pole. where only the polar bears can hear me.. n scream out loud. cry out loud. bawl like a baby. dig a hole in the snow and let it cover me up. may i be forgotten. then again, does anyone noe of my existence now anyway?
i dun feel like starting work. wats the point of workin so hard when ur results dun reflect the amt of hard work dat u put in? well i dunno wats the results of my hard work so far. but this down feeling sure drops a big hint.
im stressed. n i like it dis way. i need stress. yet i feel im bursting.
i feel stupid. i noe im not intelligent. but i really feel stupid. ok i am stupid.
why? how? bow cow dow eow fow gow.. argh!
lookin at those rjc students from my batch. all flying high... high up into the sky.
n where am i?
sinking.
demoralised.
i need a miracle.
after a 3-month hiatus, im back here again. i thot i had lots to write. lots to grumble. lots to crap. but when i see dis screen infront of me, i suddenly didnt hav anything to say. lotsa feelings churning inside me. wanting to come out. urging to spew out. but nothing's coming up. its dat kind of very down feeling.
down
down
down
down it goes.
sinking feeling.
disappointedness.
i jus feel like screaming. i want to fly to the north pole. where only the polar bears can hear me.. n scream out loud. cry out loud. bawl like a baby. dig a hole in the snow and let it cover me up. may i be forgotten. then again, does anyone noe of my existence now anyway?
i dun feel like starting work. wats the point of workin so hard when ur results dun reflect the amt of hard work dat u put in? well i dunno wats the results of my hard work so far. but this down feeling sure drops a big hint.
im stressed. n i like it dis way. i need stress. yet i feel im bursting.
i feel stupid. i noe im not intelligent. but i really feel stupid. ok i am stupid.
why? how? bow cow dow eow fow gow.. argh!
lookin at those rjc students from my batch. all flying high... high up into the sky.
n where am i?
sinking.
demoralised.
i need a miracle.
1 Comments:
hey girl, we all have our periods of down, when we look at everyone else who's flying high, and we wang chen mo ji.
But the point was never really about what others could do that you couldnt. The point is what you've done with your time and whether it was worth it. If you find that you're spending too much time with no result, then maybe you have to ask youself why or what you're doing that needs to be changed. I've suffered over here cos i couldn't make the leap from studying hard to studying smart. i paid for it by letting my A slip to B.
I'm always aware of your existence. Always. LEave me a message online if you have to, my comp's almost always on. i'll reply as soon as i can.
Lastly, if u never get over the fact that you're not stupid, you'll trick yourself in thinking and behaving like you are. And that's bad. So snap out of it, here's a *beeg hug* to help u snap out of it, and
its time to take over the world!
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