tears. pain. hurt.

depression sets in...

really deep.

why am i feeling this way? i wanna noe too...
actually i do noe why... but i refuse to admit it.
i dowan to face up to reality.
yet reality is staring right in my face...

tears well up...

and fall.

it doesnt help when im already feeling so sad by the end of the exams...
n my mum has to make matters worse by giving me that attitude again.
i dunno wat is wrong. honestly. i really dunno.
tried talkin to her properly.
doesnt work.
wat do i get in return?
pissed off tone.
black face.
sadness.
a broken heart.
tears.
n more tears.

before the exams, she was like that.
now after the exams, she is like this.
wat does she want me to do? she refuses to tell me anything.
yet when i dowan her to tell me anything, she blows everything up right before my exam.
i cannot take it anymore.
im on the verge of breaking down.
so many things happening in my life.
so many things stirring my heart.
so many things bugging me.
i have already broken down.

i feel like screaming...
i feel like shouting...
i feel like ranting...
but i jus wanna run into your arms and cry.

sad gal.
sad thots.
hurt gal.
broken feelings.
strong gal.
weak heart.
how else to describe me?
how else to describe wat im feeling?
no one will eva noe the underlying pain ba...
so many unforseen reasons...
so many hidden in-between-the-lines secrets left locked up.

numbness.
please overwhelm me.
let me not be able to feel no more.